Is Marriage The "Greener" On The Other Side Of The Fence?

Being divorced leaves a bad taste in the mouth for the thought of marriage and that all allusive idea of romance and love. What about love? Do we ever really have it? Is there something that others are doing to find it? These questions haunt the mind of singles everywhere. Never fear singles - you might be doing better than you think!

We have all had friends, other couples, who despite their struggles with money, kids and time always seemed to be happy with each other. When we see this marriage bliss all around us everyday it forces us to take a good hard look at what we are doing-right and wrong. Why do all these people, who used to be singles just like us, seem so happy and content with each other and their marriages? Well don't look too deep beyond the superficial bliss that those couples are portraying.

The truth more often than not is that they struggle with the same distractions that singles deal with. From the singles perspective the grass looks greener in a lot of cases. On the other hand there is a lot of jealously on the part of the married. They see the carefree attitude of their single friends and secretly desire that same ability to be more spontaneous.

When you are faced with the desire to "settle down" take a moment to reflect on where you are. Really examine your ability as a member of the singles crowd to be spontaneous. After all the introspection you will probably come to realize that being single isn't the end of the world. You should take sometime to get to know the other person before you are rushed or pressured into a committed relationship that you may both grow to resent. In all cases giving up the single lifestyle requires change. For some the changes required are greater which is proportional to the number of past relationships and the time between. Finding a partner that doesn't require change is a fairy tale so don't fall victim to that old adage that "I can change him".

Love and marriage is for better or worse, through health and sickness so we are motivated to get it right the first time. The reality is that fifty-percent of the time it doesn't quite work that way. Keep that in mind the next time you have lunch with one of your blissfully married friends because - as Erma Bombeck says - "the grass does grow greener over the septic tank".